This past year has been an amazing and wonderful year for babygirl and me. It has been beyond any expectations I could have imagined. Granted, the “Great Disconnect” was rough on us, but we learned about our resilience and communication’s importance in any relationship.
For those in this lifestyle, you understand what DD/lg means. Others will likely totally misunderstand it due to preconceived ideas based on the words alone. At a base level for us, it is a CareGiver/little role. While I knew the basis of DD/lg when I met babygirl, I never expected the amazing and fulfilling experience it is.
This relationship with babygirl is the first genuine D/s relationship I have had. Our connection was very organic and natural in how it developed. Meaning that the few D/s style encounters in the past were never more than a scene or two. There was never any connection other than fun.
As our connection grew, the caregiver role came naturally, partly due to my paternalistic tendencies and the care I felt for babygirl. Conversely, even as a sub, babygirl can shift into a caregiver role when I need support or feel off, as she has done for me a few times. This is true of any D/s relationship. Being mainly in the caregiver role, being able to encourage babygirl on her projects or support her if she is having a bad day and seeing how it props her up to take on daily challenges is heartwarming. Our bond is such that I mirror her mood when babygirl is having a bad day. Sometimes it is known from our daily texting, and other times, I pick up on it out of nowhere.
We have not had much time to spend together lately because of schedules. We still make an effort to have a weekly lunch so we don’t exceed eight days of not being in ourspace. After eight days, we both get a “little” anxious and grumpy with others, and the evil side of our brains interjects thoughts that don’t help. That was a factor in the “Great Disconnect” this last summer. Now and then, we get a little random time for more intimacy in ourspace. Last night we had an impromptu mini-date. While it was a simple dinner, we usually order two different entrees and split them, so we have a little mini buffet while sharing our food. We hadn’t been out at night together in quite a while, and this turned out to be something we craved and needed. babygirl has this little happy dance she does when I take her out to eat. She closes her eyes and has this silly grin on her face while swaying back and forth in her seat and chewing her food.
I have mentioned ourspace in the past. For babygirl and I, it is a magical place when we are together. Time flows differently there. I liken it to one of the other spaces like subspace or Domspace. It is different because I don’t have the deepness I get in Domspace, but it is just as fulfilling at the same level.
Trips to Build-A-Bear always leave babygirl giddy and happy. babygirl has a “little” side that I like to see. Her little side loves it when I brush her hair. It is very relaxing for both of us, even intimate. I keep a particular hairbrush she had wanted in my duffle for when we can escape from the world’s clutches. Other times when I visit her, she may jump up, bring her brush, and plop down in front of me after I caught her brushing her hair one day before lunch and told her that is my job.
There are simple things I do that I know mean a lot to babygirl. I open the door to the truck for her, and once she is inside, I buckle her seatbelt to ensure she is safe. A kiss always follows it. She says it makes her feel safe and cared for. If we are off on one of our adventures, I always have water in a cooler, or we stop and snag a couple of drinks. Special treats for babygirl are a stop by SmoothieKing. She likes that I think ahead and prepares for our adventures.
I will say that I was broken when I met babygirl, well we both were. This connection is helping us to heal that brokenness. Babygirl is an excellent photographer and very art oriented in her projects. She encourages me to explore that side of me. I had put my cameras up a few years before I met her. Within two weeks of meeting her, I pulled them back out, and our shared love of photography has been a large part of us. We shoot at art festivals, museums, community events, and other places as a team. The team concept is crucial when we shoot at a protest. We are constantly watching out for each other. We have each other’s back for safety and to share photo opportunities if one is in a better place to make the shot. Of course, we get pictures of each other as we practice our craft. Photo adventures are a big thing for us. We both love it as a hobby, and sharing it makes it much more extraordinary. These photo adventures were a key part of our initial connection and then what grew from there.
I am always amazed at babygirl’s attention to the contents of my duffle when I bring out the toys and restraints. When I remove her collar from its little bag, she takes on this calm and relaxed state. I can see her stress from life melt away as I apply her collar and go over Daddy’s rules and safewords. Sometimes she will get a little bratty with her responses to get her funishment by spanking and a light flogging. If she hasn’t slipped into subspace yet, the funishment gets her there.
Babygirl likes to use various adjectives in front of Daddy, depending on the situation. She has called me evil Daddy, naughty Daddy, sneaky Daddy, bad Daddy, and others. Evil and bad are used when I do something exceptionally playful and usually pleasurable to her. Never is there a bad connotation to the adjective used.
Then there is what she calls Daddy Powers. It typically involves advice from my “older” years that she may or may not use. An example from a few months back was regarding some funny clips she made to smash an egg between her boobs. I “advised” babygirl that she would likely need to lightly pre-crack the egg. After her attempts that still produced a funny and entertaining clip, she asked me how did I know to pre-crack the egg. After I tried to explain it, she just looked at me and said, “Daddy powers”. Daddy powers also apply to fixing things for her. Sometimes she hands me something and says, “Daddy”, when something is not working right.
When we are in ourspace, we tend to have physical contact almost constantly. If we are walking, we are holding hands. The same holds for riding in the truck, hiking, or even watching a movie. I find it mesmerizing that our hands tend to find each other without thinking about it or looking. She feels safe and profoundly cared for, as babygirl has mentioned. I know it grounds babygirl, and she feels safe. It also grounds me and brings on this feeling of being wanted, trusted, and needed.
Now the good cannot go without the challenges. The “Great Disconnect” was a massive challenge for both of us. It pushed us where we didn’t want to go. I know babygirl has abandonment anxiety. The evil side of her brain harped on the fact we were not able to communicate. It also broke a ritual of ours, one that was vitally important. Her little side was also frustrated that Daddy wasn’t there. I know my evil side brought many negative feelings, not unlike abandonment. It took us a few weeks to work out to where we were back to semi-normal. Since that time, I feel we are stronger and more connected.
Probably the most important item to mention is the trust babygirl has in me. To me, it is mind-boggling the level of babygirl’s trust. I don’t have a way to describe it. Heady might be one way to pin a description to the feelings I get. babygirls trust is one of the most cherished things to me. Yes, it is a vital component of any D/s relationship. It is also essential for any relationship, and this is now apparent in ways I never thought to consider.
We both know we are human and the flaws associated with that. To say that we have found imperfection to be its own perfection and its perfect for us. babygirl and I have our own type of weirdness that allows us to deal with today’s madness. It also leads back to trust. We trust in each other to allow us to be genuine and silly without judgment. It works for us.
Thank you for reading my blog. Granted, it has been a while since my last post. Life has its opportunities. Please leave a comment as to how you found my blog. I would also like to hear any comments or questions on my journey. Please share this with others in your social media circles.
Have a Merry, Safe, Sane, and Consensual Christmas.